i see before me a new horizon

Are you playing THE GAME? Because Anna and Wendla are.

Sun, 11 May 2008 06:52:14 GMT

Summary: Anna and Wendla are playing ~a game~.NOT THAT GAME, BUT YOU WILL LOSE MANY TIMES WHILE READING THIS.
Pairing: Melchior/Wendla, Anna/Melchior, Anna/Wendla... it's like a crazy party here, all the motherfuckers are getting some badonkadonk. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BOI, except not really.
Notes: This is for Ava's birthday! She asked for Melchior/Anna/Wendla and uhhh this is what I came up with, lol. So yeah I hope it is ~enjoyed~. I've been playing around with this characterization of Anna for a while now and... I don't know! I hope it works, I know it's probably different than how she's usually portrayed in fics. or something. I don't know. AND possibly expect some Melchior/Martha later, ~i'll be up all night~ hahahah no seriously.

ALSO, Ken said that dandelions are weeds and they kill the grass, but I share Anna and Wendla's opinion that they are pretty and so that doesn't matter. Yes, I'm shallow.

ALSO, you should know that I had finished this entire godforsaken fic and I hit the fucking backspace button on my keyboard and FOR SOME REASON, that took me back on my browser and I lost everything I had written. I typed it right into my lj because it's easier for me to write that way, and YEAH I DIDN'T SAVE IT BECAUSE I FUCKING SUCK AT EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING GOT DELETED. EVERYTHING. ALL OF IT. After freaking out and crying and bitching to Alexa and Allie, I finally retyped it. I... know it's not as good as what I originally had, but idk I guess I can't change that. I know it's my fault for not saving but I'm still pissed off.

Also, this fic is probably not as silly as it might sound. idkkk

It's become like a game. They're all told in church that boys and girls shouldn't play together, that they're so different and they just need to stay with their own groups, that God wants them to be separate from each other. Well, you can't tell twelve-year-old girls to stay away from something and expect them to actually listen, so it's only natural that Anna and Wendla came up with their game. It's perfectly innocent, really, and they think it's brilliant; the other girls don't seem to agree, though, and Martha says quietly, "We shouldn't really do this" and Thea, who can't bring herself to go against anything the church says, as silly as it may seem, says, "Well, I really can't, and you shouldn't either, but let me know if you see Melchior on his raft and perhaps then I'll join you."

Besides, it's better if it's just Anna and Wendla, anyway. Wendla is more outgoing than Anna is - Anna can make Ernst smile, but Wendla can coax a laugh out of the perpetually anxious boy - but Anna's mother is less strict than Wendla's. So when they're out trying to count how many boys they're able to talk to, Wendla says oh Mama, Anna needs help with her scripture and we might pick flowers afterwards, and she can stay out another hour, and Anna feels stronger and louder and happier when she's with Wendla, which coincidentally leads to her ability to discuss the intricate details of rock-skipping with Georg and Otto, who are often down by the river. So things even out, really, and it's still just a silly game. Who can make Georg blush? Who can get Moritz to laugh? They play every day, they see if it's really that bad to talk to boys, because what's the worst that could happen?

"I dare you to ask Hanschen what book he's reading," Anna says to Wendla one morning.

Wendla wrinkles her nose and says, "I dare you to ask Bobby Maler if he's taking a raft out today." Wendla always comes up with the scary, challenging things, and Anna wishes she could be half as brave as Wendla is. Wendla seems to be unafraid of anything. She easily talks to all the boys now - Anna is usually satisfied if Otto just smiles at her, but Wendla wants to talk about everything, about horses and books and fish and the weather and did you see how big the moon was last night, I thought it was going to fall on us. And just like the boys are learning, getting used to a girl talking to them instead of just sort of standing there, Anna is learning too, to talk and be friendly and comfortable with herself. She doesn't really envy Wendla, because it's just a game and they're not even counting up conversations anymore, they're just trying to challenge each other, and they share in everything that they gain. Which to everyone else doesn't seem like much, but to them, it feels like a world.

Anna knows, though, that they both want to win one thing desperately, and his name is Melchior Gabor. He and Wendla used to play together, but it's been a long time, and Melchior has abandoned pirates and rock-skipping for books and government and religion, and he spends most of his time inside, studying, and hardly ever comes out anymore. Sometimes he comes out and they pass him on the bridge and he smiles at them, but so far, neither girl has been able to say anything more than good morning. Wendla can talk to anyone, but Melchior leaves her tongue-tied and dazed.

So it takes them almost the entirety of spring before Wendla finally sits down next to her in the moss and declares, "I think we should talk to Melchior Gabor."

"And what do we say?" Anna can't help but grin; Wendla grasps her hand and grins too.

"Well, I don't know! But that's half the fun, isn't it? Wondering what will come out of our mouths? And what will he say?" She laughs a little and lays back, her hair fanning out all around her, still holding Anna's hand tightly. "We just have to find him."

Anna lays down, too, shoulder to shoulder with her best friend, and looks up through the leaves into the sun. She wonders if they really are doing some kind of a horrible thing by talking to the boys, and promptly decides that that's not possible. "This whole thing is so silly," Anna muses out loud. "It shouldn't even be a game for us to talk to the boys. It should be allowed."

"Of course," Wendla replies. "They're people, just like us, and they have things to say, and I want to hear them, I want to hear everything in the world."

"Me too." They look at each other and smile, and Anna knows that Wendla would never say something like that to Thea, because Thea wouldn't understand, and this is something private and special they're sharing, and she feels stronger, somehow, because of it. Their eyes meet again and this time Anna looks away. "I think I have an idea for talking to Melchior," she says.

"Did you get many flowers?" Wendla asks excitedly. Anna hurries over, holding up the hem of her dress to carry the flowers she had picked. "I found these roses back in the woods, and I picked them and the thorns didn't even prick me at all. I think I was meant to find them, otherwise they would have hurt."

Anna smiles at Wendla's logic and kneels down next to the basket Wendla brought with her, scooping out her collection from her dress. "Do you know if dandelions are flowers? Because Mama says that they're not, that they're weeds and they kill the grass."

Wendla reaches out and takes a handful of the bright flowers from her friend's skirt, studying them as if they're the most fascinating thing in the world. "They look like flowers," she decides, "and since you picked them, they can't kill the grass anymore. And they're pretty, too. So they're flowers."

They both giggle, and Anna moves up onto her knees, lowering the hem of her dress and letting the flowers tumble down into the basket, yellow over Wendla's roses.

They've been standing outside of Melchior's house for a solid five minutes before Wendla says, "I think I'm going to knock on his door now."

"He must know we're out here," Anna whispers. Wendla tries to hold back laughter. Melchior's father is at work, his mother at brunch with several other ladies, including Anna's and Wendla's mamas, and so it's just Melchior at home, and he's probably been watching them through his bedroom window the entire time. The idea is a little scandalous.

Their original plan - to knock on Melchior's door, offer him the flowers, and then engage him in conversation - has completely changed, and it now involves them leaving the flowers on his doorstep and running to hide behind the hedges. Imagining the look on Melchior's face when he answers the door, only to be greeted by a basketful of hypothetical flowers, sends both of the girls into an unnecessarily loud giggling fit. And Anna is happy about that, really, and she suddenly feels like they could just leave Melchior's house right now and not even bother with any of it and she would still be happy with how things turned out. Or didn't turn out. She smiles again. "Let's just leave them," she says, "and the next time we see him, he'll talk to us about them." Wendla laughs and sets down the basket.

Just as Anna has taken a few steps back to start the walk home, the door opens, and there's Melchior, grinning and with his hair in his eyes, and he looks at the basket of flowers in an entirely unsurprised way, but he still looks deeply, profoundly amused.

"Good morning," he says, still smiling.

"Hello," Wendla says, and she's smiling, and she takes a step forward. Anna looks down and notices that Melchior's sock isn't fastened properly and it's pushed down a little and she can see the curve of his pale knee. And then she sees that Wendla is looking down too, and she's seeing it, but she's not entirely flustered at all, and Melchior and Wendla are looking at each other and smiling, and Anna suddenly feels very small, like she should keep stepping back, or even just leave. She knows she's trespassing on something private, something she's not meant to share, and it hits her so suddenly that she almost loses her breath, almost runs away to hide herself by the river. Anna looks between them again, at the something that's forming, and she doesn't know who she's more envious of - Wendla, for getting that look from Melchior; Melchior, for getting that look from Wendla; or even herself, for being able to witness it.

BONUS ROUND

Pairing: Georg/Otto
Notes: This is the Georg/Otto take on the above scene.

"I really don't think we should do this," Georg says, wringing his hands.

"Georg, you're a pussy." Otto drops the paper bag on Melchior's doorstep and takes out his matches. "Are you ready?"

"I don't know," he whines.

Otto bends down and strikes the match, holding it to the paper bag. When it finally catches, he shrieks, "RUN! RUN!" and slams his fist into the door several times. Georg sucks and so he dives into the hedges and does a barrel roll and Otto runs after him, but in a somewhat more badass manner.

Melchior throws open his door in a dramatic way and notices the flaming bag on his doorstep. "YE GODS," he yells, and begins to stomp in it. Shit goes flying everywhere, because Otto filled a bag with poop (whether a dog's or his own, you decide) and set in on fire and put it on Melchior's doorstep, because he flies high, no lie, you know this, BALLIN.

Georg and Otto had some good lulz over this manner. And then they made out. "I would be LOST without you," Georg squealed.

THE END! HAPPY BIRTHDAY AVA!

LOL ME WRITING? WHAT THE SHIT

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 02:52:51 GMT

So, Ava and I are doing this thing. I put into a bowl two copies of the name of every SA character, and then I mix them up and pick two. Then, I go on the iPod, put it on shuffle, and have to write a short fic based on the first couple of lines or w/e of whatever song comes up. Ava's doing it too, and I plan on staying up reallllyyy late and doing these because they're really fun. So far, I only have one written, but I WILL CONTINUE and I figured I should... record them here? I mean, idk. I haven't written anything in a while so who knows man. Anddd this will be edited and added to as time goes on and I write more. :) Everything will be under their own cuts! And I'm leaving this public because I'll probably eventually maybe pimp this on sa_het or sa_slash or something idk.

PS. I want to add that if I write Moritz, it will be Blake Bashoff's Moritz. He has honestly ruined me for the characterization of Moritz, lol, so I hope nobody minds that he is the one I end up having here. Same goes for Ernst, B-Dans' Ernst at least.

How does she know you love her?
How does she know she’s yours?
How does she know that you love her?
How do you show her you love her?
~That’s How You Know, Enchanted OST

Georg/Martha

Sometimes in the quiet space between meals or naps or chores Georg would feel this emptiness. Maybe not entirely emptiness, but it was like his glass and the world was half-empty, instead. There was an absence there, but he wasn’t sure what he was missing, except he was sure it had to do with Martha. Their marriage was two years old and her stomach was growing with the promise of something new, something to shake the routine they had fallen into. Which was how he thought of their child, although he wouldn’t admit it out loud, and sometimes not even to himself.

Sometimes at night when he lay beside her and listened to her breathing, he wondered if he loved her. And that was when that half-empty feeling set in, dark and sad, and it made him sick to his stomach. But then, sometimes in the morning, she would be at the cupboard, running her thin fingers over loaves of bread, over packages of dried apricots Anna had brought them, trying to decide what to make for breakfast. Martha’s stomach swelled and curved beneath her apron, her sleeves pushed up, exposing her wrists. Georg would walk behind her, touch the shell of her ear, brushing her dark hair back, sliding his hand across her waist. And he would be filled again, with something, and he knew they weren’t empty. They had things to work on, but they were rising up, like the river with rain, and he would touch the scars on her arms and listen to her smile and he knew that she was feeling the same.

--

You can tell from the scars on my arms
And the cracks in my hips
And the dents in my car
And the blisters on my lips
That I’m not the carefullest of girls
~Girl Anachronism, The Dresden Dolls

Wendla/Ernst

They are eight. They are all in the woods, and Wendla is in a tree. Well, Ilse is too, but she’s always in trees, always in the river, always just one step away from her mother, who tugs on her braids and yells, but everyone pretends that doesn’t happen. Ernst and Moritz stand together, quietly considering what to do. Melchior has gone for sandwiches, so he can’t help them. And Wendla is very high up in the tree, and while it doesn’t seem to bother her - she is fearless, she catches spiders in her hands and lets them crawl on her shoulder, while Ernst stays at home and traces the knots in the wood of his kitchen table - it is certainly bothering Ernst.

"Wendla, maybe you should come down, I don’t want you to break," Moritz says.

"It’s almost five," Ernst reminds her, because it is, and that’s when she has to be home.

"Maybe if you climbed trees earlier in the day, you wouldn’t have to go home," Moritz adds, his hands stuffed in his pockets. His hair is curly with humidity. Well, curlier than usual.

"You’re such an old granny," Ilse calls, but when she sees Wendla has realized the truth of the matter and has begun her descent, Ilse shimmies down as well, leaping the last five or so feet. (To Ernst, it looks like a hundred, but he is shorter than her, than everyone except Thea, so perhaps he is mistaken.) Wendla takes longer to come down; she tests each branch with her foot first, then makes sure her dress is not in the way. She maybe be fearless, but she’s practical. Still, Ernst can’t help but feel the tiniest bit frightened as she makes her way down, and his heart is still hammering even when Wendla finally gets to the ground. He remembers once when they found a snake and Ernst warned Wendla not to touch it, but she assured him it was safe, and she had crept close enough for it to bite her, even though it didn’t. Almost like a godsend, the snake had darted off, and several minutes later, they saw it chewing down a mouse, helpless and tiny. "Good thing I was careful!" Wendla had said with a relieved smile, and that’s what she says now - "See, Ernst, I was careful, don’t be scared," as she runs over to them. Ilse takes Wendla’s hand and they run off, already forgetting what Ernst is sure was a near-death experience. Moritz rolls his eyes, and they follow, and Ilse is calling something about going to Thea’s, and Wendla replies that she’s probably sitting outside of Melchior’s house, peering at him through the kitchen window, and everyone giggles, and the tree is mostly forgotten.

~

They are fifteen. Ernst is fifteen, at least. Fifteen three weeks ago. And Wendla is dead, dead two days ago, and Anna is crying and Hanschen is standing beside him, even though they have not spoken since the vineyard, since touching each other. And everyone knows the truth of the matter, which is that Wendla did not die of anemia, and Ernst quietly kneels next to her grave - not on top of where her coffin has already been buried, because that feels disrespectful, somehow, and maybe he is thinking too much about it - and he puts the flower down and imagines her standing there beside him instead of Hanschen.

Why weren’t you careful? he wants to ask, but it’s too late. He can see and feel Moritz and Wendla there, their presence with him, back in the woods so many years ago, climbing the tree, when he used to be as tall as Thea, and now he is the tallest of the group, if you can call it that anymore, everything is so disconnected. He can feel them watching him. Why weren’t you careful? he repeats, again, and again, and again, but he doesn’t cry, and he doesn’t say anything aloud. He rises, not brushing the dirt from his knees.

He gets home and goes to his room, and there, waiting on his kitchen table, crawling on the knots, is a spider. Instead of calling for his mother or father to kill it, like he usually would, Ernst pulls himself together and cups his hands over it. His heart is pounding, but he hurries it into his palm, and carries it to the open window.

--

So I ran faster, but it caught me here
Yes my loyalties turned
Like my ankle turned in the seventh grade
Running after Billy
Running after the rain
These precious things
Let them bleed, let them wash away
These precious things
Let them break their hold over me
~Precious Things, Tori Amos

Melchior/Wendla

She’s been running towards this for so long, trying to keep herself upright and looking, reaching, searching, for this thing, some kind of holy grail, that would help her, except she didn’t know with what. What did she want to change? The color of her dress? The way she walked home from Anna’s? How she had grown up and apart from her old friends? Were these things she could change? But they were small things, insignificant compared to everything else, to Ilse being so alone, to Melchior and Moritz being so far away. She would look at herself, the way her body was changing, the stripes of red on her thighs, and she was so confused, so frustrated. She felt stuck in this place between her mother and her mirror and she promised herself, I will ask her, I will ask her, I will ask her.

She took charge, she started moving towards what she hoped would be a world where she had all the answers and where her mother didn’t have to pretend that Wendla didn’t exist to give them to her, but it wasn’t until she had his bruises on her, his tears on her face, that she felt something real boiling inside her, something she was sure was more important than anything else, and so she swept against him like the sea against the shore, with his hands on her thighs and her hair and her ribs, and she loved him like he loved her.

And now she feels equal in something - she’s always been either the leader or the follower, but she realizes that this is better, she wants to be two halves of a circle, not three quarters of it. And so she pushes away her mother’s words in her head; she makes the promise to visit Ilse and Moritz; she makes the promise to be with Melchior. She wants to turn things around. She’s grown apart from the world. Melchior kisses her forehead, cradles her to her, with the hay all around them and the thunder drumming outside. Wendla thinks that at that moment, she can feel everything, hear everything, but above everything else is Melchior’s heartbeat, steady and settling, everywhere.

--

Blackbirds singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life, you will be waiting for this moment to arrive
Blackbirds singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life, you will be waiting for this moment to be free
~Blackbird, from Across the Universe OST

Anna/Martha

1. While Wendla was in the glade with Melchior and the switch and a world opening in front of her, Anna was perched on the edge of her bed, staring at her own arms. Her arms were pale and skinny, marked only by freckles. Martha’s arms were dark with bruises and a strength that Anna had no idea existed. It wasn’t that she wanted bruises, because every time she thought about it, she felt sick, dizzy, violence building inside of her, more anger than she had ever felt. Anna felt an awakening within her, like she had been opened up to a world that was not so amazing after all.

2. Days later, but only days before Wendla disappeared from sight and then from her life, in this in-between spot that Anna later decided was a meeting between old decisions and new questions, Anna and Wendla sat together by the stream on a blanket, enjoying each other’s company. Wendla talked a little bit about Melchior, how they were spending time together now - the way she said it was strange, but Anna had no space in her thoughts to analyze it - and how she felt so changed and so alive.

"I do, too," Anna agreed uneasily, but she knew that what she was feeling and what Wendla was feeling were two very, very different things. Wendla had found a new, better place; Anna had shifted into a dark place between she and Martha, when they hadn’t even spoken in nearly a week. She saw her walking the path alone one day, but instead of running after her, Anna had hidden behind a tree. She was scared of Martha, scared to know this terrible thing about her. She wished she could take it back, she wished they had never asked. She wanted all these things but she knew they couldn’t change them. She could hear her own voice echoing somewhere, as if from underwater, "When I have children, I’ll let them be free." She knew this was true, she couldn’t do this to Martha. Thea thought it was fine, Thea saw no problem with it. Thea was clueless.

But even though she avoided her, avoided talking to her, Anna hated the way her skin and her face burned when she even so much as thought about Martha. Not even her bruises, her life locked up in that horrible house with her horrible parents, but just Martha - sleeping, maybe, or reading a book. Anna conjured up dreams in her head of the two of them running to the city, getting away from their town. She thought about becoming a teacher, maybe reading to children, with Martha correcting their grammar and spelling. She thought about things she could do without leaving, how she should take Martha’s hands and hug her and let her know that she still loved her, because Anna knew that was what she needed.

Instead, she sat at the edge of her bed, or on the blanket with Wendla, waiting for things to come to her. She knew she couldn’t do this anymore. She did it anyway.

4. And when Wendla died, it wasn’t Anna who started to lead, it was Martha who kept them together, as strange as it was. Martha had always been the one that Wendla and Anna had to call out to, take her hand, make her follow, but in the absence of Wendla, Martha was very clearly the leader. Ilse drifted in and out, like she wasn’t sure where she belonged yet, but she was figuring it out. Thea’s mother tried to keep her indoors, away from everyone, but Thea was spirited, she cried all the time but she wouldn’t be kept away from her friends. And Anna sort of stepped back and watched as Martha took over, as she asked Ernst to go help her pick berries, as she spent hours with Otto and Ilse down by the lake, as she brought flowers to Wendla’s grave every Sunday. Wendla’s death left a black hole in the town that changed everything. Birds could have started flying backwards; Anna was almost surprised that they didn’t. People stopped caring about who their children were playing with; there were more important things, it seemed. And it could have been Anna, feeling her optimism return, despite everything, but she felt like the air was warmer, the sun was brighter. Everyone smiled more. They felt the loss of their friends, but they were filling it up, like water into a pail, like dirt into a grave.

5. Anna always felt that she would be the one to change things, but Martha had something Anna didn’t. Martha knew who she was. Anna had no idea who anyone was. The only thing she was sure of was that whenever she and Martha got a few moments to themselves, alone on the street, or in someone’s house after the others had gone home, she would take Martha’s hand, and Martha always squeezed her fingers and smiled in her sad way at her. Anna used to feel an awakening, now she felt a settling inside of her, an acceptance that she could hold on to. Martha was leading them, leading her, and things were only beginning.

E-MURMZ LIKES TO BE IN PWNMERICA

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 01:29:39 GMT

So. Wow. How do I start? Wellll first our entire day. We took the train in and after getting our seats (C 9 & 11, in the THIRD ROW, holy shit, are we lucky for memorable shows or what? fuck meee) at TKTS, we tooled around in McDonald's for a while. This mostly consisted of Ava CRYING from laughing so hard because we were thinking of weird things to do to the people at the TKTS booth - i.e., asking for twelve tickets for Cats, asking for 500 tickets for Mary Poppins, etc, idk maybe you had to be there lololol. We also went to Duane Reade to get sharpies, and we went in the back of the store to pray to Jason Fuchs that the show would be fantastic, and we were back in the pad/adult diaper section, and there were all these packages of maxi pads thrown around, and Ava just shouted, "LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY HAD A PAD PARTY!" and omg it was so funny.

Around 6:45 we headed over to the theatre bc we had nothing better to do, and Ava saw Jenna Ushkowitz or whoever (I have been calling her Anna, idk why) who smiled at her, and we saw ~*GLENN FLESHLER*~ go into stagedoor, and I was like "omg Ava should I say hi?" and we decided not to. THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER.

Anyway. We were first in line to get into the theatre and I texted Kelly and said, "Socha is on as Wendla. ......jk!" ALSO I extend my deepest sympathies to you girl, I'm sorry your phone deleted Matt's message. :(.

And then the show started. My heart was pounding, omg I was so excited. IDC I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR FOREVER. LET ME HAVE SOME BREATHING ROOM OKAY.

Holy FUCK. Okay, guys. Matt was on as Hanschen and obvs Eryn Murman was on as Wendla. And it's definitely got to be tied with Blake's first night for my favorite show.

As soon as Eryn walked out onstage... I wouldn't say I was ~captivated~ by her or anything, but I thought she looked fierce. She definitely looks 14 or 15, and not just from her face; she looks like an average girl. Lea is a twig, and sry2say, but she has a big head. I mean, that's not bad. But Lea looks like a model; Eryn looks like my next door neighbor (well, not legit, but you know what I mean). She is super gorgeous, but in a different way than Lea... Eryn is pretty in a down-to-earth sort of way, she looks like the kind of girl who would run through the rain, play pirates, be best friends with Melchior and Ilse and Moritz. Lea looks like a rich, privileged girl - Eryn looks like the girl next door. She's super gorg, but just in a different way than Lea is, and it's in a way that I prefer. Lea's hair is dark and perfectly curled; Eryn's hair is long, blonde, and wavy, and instead of being pinned back, it was just clipped back... it's weird how much difference hair can make, lol. Also, holla at a Wendla with tits and ass okay. I realized that this is how Wendla should look, at least to me. It made it so much sadder to see this pretty much already developed girl who still didn't know where babies came from - it was a much more devastating introduction into the show than you get from Lea. Also, Eryn's acting was far superior. Something about her, just from the look she had, made her a lot more relatable, too.

Mama Who Bore Me - Eryn's voice is superrrr pretty. While we were waiting in the TKTS line, Ava and I had been discussing our favorite versions of songs, and I was trying to describe what my ideal MWBM would be, and I couldn't, really. BUT Eryn came close, hers was very lovely. You couldn't really tell she was nervous at all; Ava said she saw her hands shaking, but I didn't. I kind of got lost in the song. Her voice was kind of quiet at first, but she belted out that second "Mamaaaaa, who bore me" in just... the most perfect way. Eryn's voice is a lot poppier than Lea's; not as pure as Phoebe's, though. It has a sound of its own, and I honestly prefer it. Also, Eryn's facial expressions and the way her tone of voice changed as the song went on really pulled me in. Her version of it was quiet and confused but frustrated... I'm not sure how to describe it, but it really was lovely. Just super, super, super different from any MWBM I had heard from Lea, or listened to on an audio from any girl.

The Stork - Like Cesca said in her review, Eryn really acts like... a ten year old in this scene. You know that she isn't because of the way she looks, but just the way she was acting - she was very firm and whiny with her mother (Kate Burton was awesome last night, btw) but at the same time, you could tell that they were close. When she said, "It makes me feel like a little fairy queen!" she leaned in like she was telling her mother a secret that nobody else would ever find out - very childlike. And with Eryn, you definitely feel that she honestly has no idea where babies come from. I never really feel that from Lea, but Eryn nailed it. ALSO as Cesca said, her Wendla always knew what she wanted. She was very stubborn about getting it. I also prefer her, "You can't imagine that I still believe in the stork" over Lea's. Lea sounds more like she's making an excuse for her mother, giving her an opening to apologize - Eryn is like, "For real, Mama, I know my haps, tell me the truth. srs." IDK LOL.

MWBM reprise - Fuck, this was fierce! This is a song best experienced up close because hearing all the girls' separate harmonies is just so awesome. And Eryn didn't do her patented poopy anna dance; she stomped a lot, but it fit in with the song. All the girls were super on, you could feel all the anger and frustration in the song. Eryn definitely commanded that stage and that scene. She doesn't have the pure belty soprano voice Lea has, so with Eryn leading, I felt like the song would be weaker, but it wasn't. She may not have been completely leading the song vocally, but acting-wise, she was definitely 100% perfect. Also I loved that famous, "oh, mamaaaaa~" belt in the middle of the song, lol you all know which one. Like, it took my breath away. I think it might have been lower than Lea's usually is, but something about it was just fantastic. idk I always love that part of the song. Lauren's stomping was not as good as it usually is and I missed that, but I had heard she hurt her ankle, so whatevs, get better soon, pritch!

HARDER, TEACHER, HARDERRRR - new name for this scene guys okay. ANYWAY what can I say, this was good as usual. I was more focused on Skylar's reactions to the scene than on anything else. My love for him has seriously reached new heights, I think he is so adorable and sweet. I love his "OH, MY GOODNESS!" face after Melchior gets hit for the first time. lolll skylar. ilu. And Matt was on as Hanschen, which was awesome. This boy can act, and not just in a ~omg i r awesome~ way, but he stays in character for every scene, even when she's singing or dancing, and I love that. Also, Groff's reactions to getting hit, ftw. He toned down or got rid of most of the stuff he does that annoys me... also I think putting him with Eryn helped a lot, which I'll get more into later.

All That's Known - I reallllly like Groff's new emphasis on "blind men", not sure why. This isn't my favorite song in the show by a longshot, but it's one of the ones I relate to most; also, the lighting is fantastic, but lol that's nothing new

BLAKE'S CRAZY FACES - another new name for this scene, because that is honestly what it should be called. I remember talking to Alexa a while ago, and she said that Johnny's Moritz is like, "PUBERTY? D: D: D:" and Blake's is, "PUBERTY!?!?!??! *INSERT RIDICULOUS FACE HERE*" and yes, I have seen Blake four times now and I definitely prefer Blake. Not to say that Galls isn't fab, because he is, but I prefer Blake. I love his little "omg vomit" after he finds out Otto has sex dreams about his dear old mother. he kills me, I love him.

The Bitch Of Living - Definitely one of the best ones I've heard, something (maybe higher notes? SOMETHING) was missing from this song that seemed to make it a lot more streamlined. I really loved Matt in this song, too, and I love Blake's dancing and Brian's "JUST THE BITCH" because helllooo it makes me orgasm in my pantaloons. Also, holllllaaaa to Groff's rocking out at the end; he got so into it, and it was super awesome. I was definitely grooving along, but what else is new. lol.

Dream Talk - omg, so good, as usual. I love Blake in this scene. I really love his "may lie there BETWEEN THEM!" when he scrunches his legs up and puts his books in his crotch. omg lol blake please marry me. ALSO I have to say that I feel like if you have Groff, you have to have Blake as Moritz. I know a lot of people seem to feel differently, but I see them more as equals; they play off of each other really well, and since Blake is more sarcastic and stronger than Johnny's, he matches Groff in a way that makes their relationship a lot more tangible. I think Mattchior and Johnny were better suited to each other.

Boy Talk - RENAME THIS PHOEBE'S SCENE NOW BECAUSE SHE IS THE BEST LOLLL IDC. She did some sort of hand-freakout when she and Remy shouted, "MORITZ STIEFEL!?!?" omg it was so cute. Remy was on last night! I love her to deathhhh. And Eryn was great in this scene; very childish and girly, like before, and you got the feeling that she had a crush on Melchior... with Lea, it's like, "HE'S SO WONDERFU LOL THEA YOU SUCK" whereas with Eryn it was like, "omg he really is a srs hottie!" Also, the way she looked for this scene really worked... I personally think she rocks that blue dress better than Lea, because she has curves to fill it out. And Lea doesn't look 14 at all, to me... you pretty much need to go into the show knowing that she's supposed to be 14, because otherwise, I don't feel it at allll. But with Eryn, you know she's supposed to be young, and that brings down Groff's age, too, which I like. Adding Blake into that is perfectttt because he looks 14 too. Definitely the Golden Trio, I would say. lol. ...anyway.

My Junk - LOVED Eryn's verse, it was very silly and cute. The girls pwned it, as usual. I love this song. I couldn't see Skylar from where we were sitting, but I could hear him moaning VERY LOUDLY and it made me lol super hard. Matt pwnssss that Hanschen monologue. I love his "WHACK WHACK DEATH OMGGGG FUCK YES" hahahaha he is so fierce. I think I prefer him to JBW, tbqh, although I love JBW. Maybe it's just cause I've seen him so much, I'm not sure. But seeing Matt was excellent, not much more to say. I'm not sure how I can do justice to his scene in words. lol. And Eryn's dancing was just as much fun to watch as Remy's; you could tell how much fun they were all having up there.

Melchior & Moritz - yeahhh I definitely prefer Blake to Johnny, lol. It's nothing personal, well, it sort of is. I just like Blake's Moritz better, I like how sarcastic and just NORMAL he is, that makes it a lot sadder to me when he breaks down, as opposed to Johnny, who is just sort of sad all the time. But that's just me, and I'm not going to knock Johnny at all, obviously. ALSO I prefer Melchior and Moritz to be more bffl-y; since seeing Blake!Moritz, I've definitely gotten out of shipping them together. And Blake's sarcastic laughing in Groff's face WILL NEVER STOP BEING HYSTERICAL. And Groff is definitely getting into the haps of playing off of Blake, too; when Kate Burton said, "You must take care of yourself, Moritz; surely your health is more important than ancient Greek", Groff did this, "mmmmmmhmmmmmm" thing that was superrrr funny. I love the teasing they've got going on in this scene.

Touch Me - unf unf unf Blake's solooooo. His voice is pop-y, like Eryn's, and I really love it, it's so gorg. And B-Dans owned his solo, too, obvsss. Brian had that weird growly thing going on, but whatever, he was awesome... holy shit, I love Brian. also Skylar's suit is looking a little tight, either that or he's got Incredible Hulk abs going on under there, because that's what it looked like. lolll. But his solo was beautiful. My love for him just keeps multiplying! idk he has been fierce lately, I love him. I've never seen a bad performance of this song.

Melchior & Wendla - This was one of my favorite scenes that Eryn did. When she first came out, she was looking down at her flowers, and then she stopped and looked up and saw Melchior reading, and she just sort of... paused for a second, and leaned down as if it see if it really WAS him, and then she was like, "Melchior Gabor?" in just... the sweetest way, like she was so surprised to see him and it had been a while, but that she was glad they had run into each other... idk with Lea, she sort of blurts out his name like she's so surprised to see him, she just can't contain herself. And she was so pleased when he complimented her, you could tell that she really had a crush on him, sooo cute. :). But you could also feel the awkwardness between them... that they had been friends before, but had sort of gone their separate ways, now that they were both older. And you could tell why he liked her so much - she was super pretty, but really smart, too, and firm in her opinions. I loved the way she paused and sort of scrambled for something to say before telling him about how they visited the day laborers - lines like that sometimes feel robotic and unnatural with Lea, but with Eryn, they just felt natural. She felt natural up onstage, as Wendla, everything came really easily to her. And then when he was like, "it's something I've been thinking a lot about" she said, so excitedly, "The day laborers?" like - I've been thinking about it too! Finally, someone to talk to. It was SO CUTE.

More major props to the Murmz - I love love lovedddd her "What time is it? I paused and lay so long", etc. Have you ever started to tell a story or joke or something to somebody, and then halfway through talking you realize... that it really isn't as cool as you thought? lol that's how she said it. And the way she said, "I have to be home by five" it was like, "I really do have to be home by five". She had a close relationship with her mother, but her mom still kept her at close range, just like a child. She wanted to stay, but she had to be home by five.

The Word Of Your Body - This was beautifullll. Eryn's voice is so pretty; she didn't belt the shit out of it, she just sang it and it was very pure and lovely. She and Groff's voices matched each other very well. And maybe because Eryn looks so young, but the handholding was very poignant and sweet, especially when they paused at the front of the stage before going into the second verse... something about it really struck me. It was a very pretty start to their relationship.

When he said he would walk her home, and offered her his hand, she just looked at him for a second like, "Are you serious? You really want to walk me home?" but in like... a sweet way, not a OMG MELCHIOR YOU ARE SO PRESUMPTUOUS GTFO, and she just stared at him and then took his hand and they ran to the front of the stage and looked at each other and.... omgggg it was too cute to describe! She ran off with his great big grin on her face. So good. I love me some Melchior/Wendla. <3.

Moritz Passes!!!!! - AKA THE SCENE WHERE BLAKE BREAKS MY HEART ALL THE TIME aka the scene where Blake's triumphant dance makes me lol, aka the scene where Blake awkwardly hugs B-Dans and it's so funny, aka B-Dans does the OMG A BOY TOUCHED ME thing that I will always mention because it is SO PERFECT, aka the scene where Blake goes "hmph" to Hanschen and the audience practically cheers. holy shit, I love Blake. hahahah

Martha's Secret - dangggg. Eryn was very girly and silly in the beginning, as before, but then as soon as Martha said her father was beating her... the look on Eryn's face. She was so very clearly looking inward with such disturbed fascination - everytime she spoke, she was so curious, just dying for more information... she was realizing that nothing had ever happened to her, that she was truly sheltered and protected from the world, and you could just SEE every thought and emotion going through her head. It was just... breathtaking. I feel like this is something that Lea goes for, but I've never really felt it from her... I knew that Wendla was feeling it because I knew beforehand that she was supposed to, but with Eryn, you could just... feel it coming from her. She was brilliant. Her Wendla very clearly changed and shifted in that scene.

The Dark I Know Well - Absolutely fucking perfect, as usual. Also Jenna has a very strong, fierce voice; when she joined in, it was truly fab. And since Socha is so loud and has so much energy, I prefer her rocking out on the chair than in any particular role. ALSO LOL Ava told me Brian was checking out Remy before this song. Oh, Brian.

The Beating Scene - HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. Eryn Murman, please let me build a shrine and sacrifice small animals in your honor, because you are brilliant. She commanded this scene, her Wendla matched Groff's Melchior in every way. You could tell that Eryn had been planning this for a while; she was going to get Melchior to hit her, and she was going to be stubborn about it and not stop until she got what she wanted, because it was that important to her. When she said, "You know, I've never been beaten" it was just... so powerful. The look on her face was heartbreaking. And the usually awkward, "I've tried hitting myself to find out how it feels - really, inside" was BRILLIANT with Eryn. She said, "I've tried hitting myself..." and then paused, and added, "to find out how it feels", and walked up closer to him, within a foot, and you could tell how confused and uncomfortable he was but still... intrigued by what she was saying, which is why he swings the stick the first time and says, "It would draw blood" - because he's curious too. And when she said, "You mean, if you beat me with it" and he took two steps back, she just stepped forward and - took over the entire scene. It was Wendla commanding Melchior to beat her, and it was almost funny at first how much the tables had been turned - I'm not used to be it being that way, but it worked, it fit so much better than what normally happens. It wasn't, "Please beat me", it was, "Please beat me, or I will slap you in the balls". I'M NOT DESCRIBING IT WELL. LOLLLL. But yeah, her, "I've never felt anything" was super, super powerful and awesome. She just stepped forward and touched him and this - this look of understanding passed between them, and when he started hitting her, she was just being so sarcastic, intentionally trying to make him angry. It wasn't just Groff losing control and going all HULK SMASH on Wendla, it was Eryn losing control too. The show is about these kids who have all these feelings and just shit going on, but they've been given no information, no way to handle it, so they act on it in really intense ways, and Eryn showed that - she said her lines so sarcastically, like, "You're not good enough, Melchior; hit me harder" even though she was very clearly in pain, and that made Groff just LOSING it make sooo much more sense. And her crying was so childlike and just - very heartbreaking. Seeing Groff standing there, coming down from his rage, REALIZING what he had done... it was one of the most powerful things in the entire show. It far surpassed any beating scene I have seen or listened to, even the Mattchior ones. And Eryn's crying seemed to go on forever... when she sat back, she just cast this look towards where he had run off to and... wow. Just, wow. And as soon as she saw the journal, and picked it up, you could see the idea come into her head to return it to him, to be with him again. idk... it was just amazing. The full impact of this scene didn't really hit me until later as I was thinking about it, but it was perfect. She proved how fucking awesome she was, well lol AS IF SHE HADN'T BEFORE

Moritz Fails - One of the few scenes where I actually like Glenn; I like that they changed the slaps until later, and I like the way Glenn says, "Oh... Moritz" like he sort of forgot that his son even exists. And Blake just pwns this scene, he is wonderful.

And Then There Were None - MORE VOCAL AWESOME FROM BLAKE this boy's voice... is amazing. Blake, please sing to me forever and ever. also lol at bowlegged Matt Doyle. IT IS TRUE, GUYS. HE IS BOWLEGGED AND IT IS SO LOL. And Blake taking out the gun and walking across the stage will never stop being absolutely devastating to me. His Moritz feels like a best friend, like a person I actually know, maybe because I sort of do. I really relate to him - never to Moritz, really, but just to Blake's Moritz. so lol I am super biased about how awesome he is, even though he really is fierce. I just think everything he does is perfect. oh well, as long as it doesn't start to interfere with my life. MY LOVE FOR BLAKE BASHOFF WILL OVERCOME MY NEED TO EAT, SLEEP, SHIT, SHOWER, AND SHAVE, GUYS.

Mirror Blue Night - As soon as Eryn was out onstage, I was paying absolutely no attention to Groff whatsoever. It was like MBN was a background song for Wendla's thoughts as she walked across the stage, reading the journal. Seeing the way her facial expressions changed... it was fantastic.

The Hayloft Scene - Definitely up there with the beating scene in terms of just how fabulous it was. Eryn was PURE PURE PURE WIN in this. She never had any intention of leaving Melchior in that hayloft; she would not let him stop her from apologizing, from talking to him and being with him. She almost hesitant in touching him at first, but you could tell, just from her body language, that she wanted to hold him so much. I wish we had been able to see her face (we were all the way in orch left) but just from the way she was holding her body and saying her lines, I could STILL tell what was going on. Bitch is totally fierce. And when he hugged her and ~*heard her heart*~, she looked so... surprised and hesitant at first, but then just - melted into him, and it was so sweet. And they slowed down the next part a lot, where he pulls back and holds her shoulders, and I could actually see that he was leaning in to kiss her, and I could see the profile of her face - and you could see all these thoughts and emotions running through her head as he pulled her to him and he cradled her so, so, gently... omg guys it was SO SWEET. It melted my cold little heart. lolll. And she curled her fingers into his arm and leaned into him - I liked seeing such a vulnerable side of Wendla, after her beating scene where she was so intense - although I mean... that was FUCKING AWESOME and holy shit I loved it, but I liked how she matched Groff in this scene - they were both confused and they wanted each other, but they weren't sure how to go about doing it, and in Wendla's case, she knew what she wanted but she wasn't sure what to call it, or how to express it. And the line, "I feel you breathing everywhere" is one of the most beautiful ones in the entire show, lol idc, it is the truth to me so do not deny me my little Melchior/Wendla pleasures.

I Believe - I'm only putting this down because lol I don't want that paragraph to get too long. idk why. lollll w/e. But, yeah. When he started kissing her, she backed off so much and protested so much - I remember reading a review of Krysta as Wendla that said that she enhanced the extremes in the scene - her protests were stronger, but she also wanted it more. Eryn was sort of the same way. Her "no"s were extremely firm, but they were, "no, cut it out, man -- although I want you to keep going". Just like her, "I want to stay, but I have to be home by five" earlier. And then when he said, "It's what? Sinful?" she said, "No! No..... I mean..... I don't know" and she started to realize that her yearning to be with him was greater than her societal reluctance (if that's not a phrase, it is now okay) and then he said, "Because it's good? Because it makes us feel something?" and she thought for a moment, and then threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. The hayloft scene was 100% consensual. Groff usually overpowers Lea; but Eryn matched him. She was confused, and what she wanted, she couldn't really name or define, but she threw herself into the moment. She agreed to everything that he did, but at the same time, the sex was still awkward and fumbling, despite their srsly intense chemistry. ALSO thank you Murmz for not having mosquito bite boobies. It definitely upped the ~shock~ factor or whatever when he opened her top and you know... there was actually something there. lol. ALSO I loved Eryn's reaction to him touching her chest... I never got it with Lea, but with Eryn, it was like, "Wait, you're touching MY CHEST wait that's not supposed to feel like that! WAIT BOOBS HAVE A PURPOSE WHAT IS THIS PLEASE DO THAT AGAIN" omg I don't know how to explain but it was like, she was protesting because she didn't know and she was confused, not because she didn't want him to keep going. ALSO when he puts his hand in her underwear - she put her hands down before he did so, and sort of leaned forward. 100% CONSENSUAL. THEIR LOVE IS REAL FOREVER. And Groff didn't do any weird vagina sniffing this time. LOL, SARAH.

Intermission KILLED; I texted Mandee again lol I WISH YOU HAD BEEN THERE in fact, I wish everyone had been there... seriously, you guys would have loved it. Ava and I discussed how awesome Murmz was, and how awesome just... everyone was. yeah lol. that was our intermission. also hahah Socha came to get up onstage, and then she sort of gasped and went backstage, and I told Ava that she was probably forgotten her microphone. AND LOL I WAS RIGHT. Oh, Socha.

The Guilty Ones - lol glenn. His priest is SO WEIRD but idk whatevs. sry2say but Eryn and Groff's sex scene was totally hot. Probably because she has more curves, I think Eryn's Wendla is more sensual than Lea's, because Lea is like... you could break her in half. Nothing will top the hotness of Mattchior's hayloft scene but hello that's Matt Doyle so of course. BUT probably because Eryn wasn't just laying there, she was actually responding to Groff and it was realistic, you know? although lol groff ejaculating. idk, that's just one thing he does that I don't really like. And Eryn's hands were shaking afterwards... she was very clearly confused, and looking inwardly, trying to figure out what she was feeling. And I never understood this song like I did with Eryn singing. This was one of my favorite things that she sang, if not my favorite; she communicated the emotion of the song so much, and made it into a journey song, from her confusion and worry in the beginning, to not regretting what she had done, and wanting to be with him. Her, "something you keep in a box on the street" was just.... omg PERFECT. Excellent, excellent, excellent on Groff's part, too. Remy looked super uncomfortable to sit next to them as they made out. lol. well, A+ all around.

Don't Do Sadness - OMG BLAKE BASHOFF, PUT IT IN MY POOPER. His falsetto is AMAZING holy shit I love Blake. And he made me cry too :( OF COURSE. His eyes are so sad... especially when they are all filled with tears LIKE THEY WERE FOR THIS ENTIRE SEQUENCE Blake, sometimes I hate you a lot because you are so awesome.

Ilse's Monologue - omg Lauren Pritchard.... Alexa and I must have sent you good vibes from talking about how awesome you are, because YOU. WERE. AWESOME. wow. This matched, if not surpassed, her when we saw her back innnn late October, I think? The second time we saw Mattchior. yes. I really do love Lauren's Ilse - so talkative and out there, and this time she totally went for it... her Ilse was lol so obviously doped up. Truly inhaling that ether, indeed. idk she just pwned.

Blue Wind - Beautiful, as usual. Lauren is so good at communicating emotion with her voice, but I feel like body language wise, she could do a lot more... I've really gotten into watching Blake during this song because I think his reactions to her singing are just... so amazing. ilu blake, I will never say it enough k.

Moritz & Ilse / DDS & Blue Wind - Same as usual - aka AWESOME. Nothing really new to say. Lauren really started crying on her, "I'll be lying on some trash heap" line. so wonderful.

Moritz' Suicide - Blake PWNS this monologue. He's so broken and childlike... there were tears in his eyes the entire time. He does this nod to himself that just KILLS me. omgggg. And the lighting during this scene is brilliant... the way the music cuts out and there's just this tiny box of light, and Moritz and the flowers... BRILLIANT. FUCK.

Left Behind - :( :( Guys, this song. wow. Martha hovering over the grave... holy god, it kills me every. single. fucking. time. I love Martha and I love Moritz/Martha and just.... alsjdskalj mmm :( And EVERY SINGLE BOY WAS CRYING. I'm not kidding. Brian was crying, Matt was crying, B-Dans was crying (and that made ME cry, because he seemed to stand there for longer than usual, and as he was walking away from the grave, I started thinking about Dashoff and I STARTED TO CRY) and then... oh, my sweet, sweet, sweet shitting christ. Skylar. SKYLAR. He stood there, over the grave, and looked up like he was looking into heaven, seeing God, and then he dropped the flower in the grave and sort of - opened his hand over the grave, like he was waving goodbye.... GUYS. GUYS. I CRIED LIKE A LITTLE BITCH. I love Skylar, holy shit. not so much love for Glenn's crying, but I ignored that. ALSO. REALLY, ERYN? ARE YOU SERIOUS WITH HOW AWESOME YOU ARE? When Lea does this scene, she steps up to the grave and doesn't take her eyes off of Melchior the entire time... with Eryn, she stepped up to the grave, just staring at Melchior, and then tore her eyes away and looked down and you could see how hurt she was... this is MORITZ. This is her friend, her childhood friend. And you could feel that and see it in her, and it was just wonderful.

Totally Fucked - FUCKING AWESOME OF COURSE dude this song, it takes all of my self control to not get up and dance lololllll. Eryn and Lauren looked like they were having so much fun jumping around, and hahahahah B-Dans' dancing and tiger-growling on the ground MAKE THIS SONG. Completely pwned. I love it.

WOYB reprise - WIN. WIN. WINNNN. B-Dans.... I love you. so, so, so much. hahahaha. I love when Hanschen says, "Those bells, so peaceful..." Blake goes, "I know!" like OMG SOMEBODY FINALLY UNDERSTANDS ME WOW holy shit it is CUTE. Matt was slightly less creepy (but no less pwning) than before, but his "Travel the world within my.................. LIPS" will never stop giving me the fucking creeps! hahahah. I know a couple people said he had been sick earlier this week, but he was in top vocal form last night. fucking awesome. Seriously. Blake is the best Ernst ever, idc what anyone says. He is so much funnier than Gideon, and for all the RIGHT reasons. People are laughing with Blake. he is so good.

Wendla's Secret - ERYN, ERYN, ERYN. WHAT DO I SAY TO YOU. bitch is fierce and just... dang. Her reactions to Melchior's letter were so sweet and heartbreaking. She looked so pretty in her nightgown with her hair pulled back. This is something I like that Glenn does - when the Adult Woman says, "And the nausea?" he gets this look on his face like, "Wait... hold on. That doesn't sound right." I like that, at least. lolllll. And when he asked for a word with her mother, and she was left alone, she turned and wrapped her arms around the chair, and this look came over her face like - she really agreed with Melchior's letter, and couldn't wait to see him again and be with him, even though she knew there was a lot of stuff keeping them apart, she didn't care because she loved him. So gorg.

ON TO MORE PWNAGE. I love that they changed the slap so it's in the beginning.. definitely makes the scene more dramatic, more intense, than it was before. And it was so much more shocking because this scene with Wendla and her mother was obviously such a dramatic change from their scene in the beginning. This time, Eryn could hold her own; she wasn't whiny or childish, she had grown up. And when Kate slapped her, ERYN ACTUALLY REACTED APPROPRIATELY. I HOPE YOU ARE LISTENING, LEA. She sounded so pissed when she said, "The doctor said that I am anemic", like, bitch, what are you going around slapping me for? Whereas Lea is just sort of mildly perplexed. LOVE LOVE LOVED Eryn's "Why did you tell me everything?" So, so powerful. Her crying broke my heart.

Whispering - This is DEFINITELY my favorite thing that Eryn sang. Like I said before, her voice is more pop-y than Lea's, and the technoish background of this song suited Eryn's voice so much. Lea's voice is strong and loud and really beautiful, but Eryn has this... natural, down-to-earth quality to her voice that just made this entire song that much better. I loved her sarcasm in the middle of the song - "such a shame, such a sin" especially - and how it changed into such... happiness, just thinking about Melchior. Her ending was PERFECT; she didn't care in the slightest what anyone thought, she loved Melchior and she was going to make a new life for them, and she didn't care who got in her way, or what anyone thought of her, or if her friends and relatives and neighbors thought she was doing the wrong thing or that she was OMG OBSCENE or anything. Just... the hope in her voice at the end of the song, it made me cry so much. The music fading out as the lights lit up Eryn, standing at the edge of the stage and holding her stomach with this determined look on her face.... omg MY POOR HEART. :( Whispering is my favorite song in the show and I think the most beautiful, and it has the most characterization and shows the most development of a character, and... idk Eryn just nailed it. I love her.

The Reformatory / The Letter - unf unf unf unf THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY also, Skylar's moaning was downright PORNOGRAPHIC. LOLLLL. but omg, when Matt said, "Forget the coins, we'll use mommy's letter!" Groff just let out this scream of anger and oh my god, it was awesome. A+ for you, man. And ERYN PLEASE DO NOT DIE YOU ARE AWESOME I mean, nothing really beats Lea looking right at me and staring at me as her mother pulled her to her death because that honestly like... CHILLED ME TO MY LITTLE BONES, NO KIDDING but ughhh Eryn :( It was so, so sad. I think because her Wendla really does look 14, and coupled with her omg amazing acting, it just makes it that much more powerful, what happens to her. I have always, always, always been so involved in Wendla's story, but Eryn pulled me in so much more than before. Also, I love the music cutting out after Eryn's scream and the girls have all gathered, and the small way that Lauren starts reading the letter... ahhh :( :( I am depressing myself.

The Graveyard - Not much to say here... not bad acting from Groff; his "Moritz.... my old friend" still kills me because I know exactly how he feels, bc I feel like Blake's Moritz is my bffl too, but I still don't like his, "Oh my god... Wendla too"; maybe I've just been spoiled by Jesse just... sobbing out that line. And guys, as Ava pointed out, I have to say... I think Groff actually cries like that. Like, seriously. Yeah, it sounds kind of fake and overdramatic, but when he gets up, he is seriously crying. IDK JUST SOMETHING AVA POINTED OUT. LOL. but seriously.. pwnage by the fog machine, I must say. srs pwnage.

Those You've Known - YES. YES. YES. YES. YES. GOLDEN TRIO, FUCKERS. SERIOUSLY. shit, it is such a shame that Eryn and Blake didn't get to sing together more often, because it was just... amazing. Their voices are pretty similar, very angelic and just... gorgeous, and the combination of the two of them together was so beautiful. I loved Eryn's TYK, the emotion on her face and in her voice was pwningggg. She was demanding that he stay alive, that he carry on their stories. She was the most fierce Wendla ever. And she looked so pale and just - of another world, really like an angel, omg it made me cry so hard. Coupled with Blake's vocal PWNAGE I was like, dying inside.

Song of Purple Summer - BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL holy shit, I love this song, and it sounded amazing. I mean, nothing will ever beat sitting in front of Brian at the end of the song because that was like... mindblowing, but this was fierce too. At the end, Groff was gripping Eryn's shoulder so tightly... oh, my god, srs what is this. It was awesome. And I often feel really sad during this song, but... I felt so hopeful at the end, and so satisfied with the show, and so sure that Melchior had been given the strength he needed. Wendla changed his life and gave him what he needed to continue on, to live, to carry on their stories and change things because that was what she wanted. She gave him something to believe in. so fantastic and powerful.

Stagedoor - GETS ITS OWN SECTION BECAUSE IT WAS THAT AWESOME. We talked to basically everybody except Groff and Kate Burton... Blake recognized us and said that he was really, really sick; you couldn't tell at all, though, and I told him that. what a brave soul for stagedooring the FREEZING COLD while super sick, mad props to you, man. We also talked to Matt, and I was like, "You were awesome, as usual; I heard you were sick earlier this week" and he said, totally nonchalantly, "Yeah, I was - pneumonia" and I was like OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS I may have had a mini crisis. That boy is a trooper. We also got to talk to Eryn; I told her that we had been waiting to see her as Wendla for months and that Wendla was my favorite character, and that she was fantastic and wonderful and everything, and she was so sweet and so genuinely touched. I LOVE HER. Gerard and Phoebe did a booty dance together and like, ground each other and omg it was SO FUNNY lolol i love them. And then I was like, "Wow, Skylar, WAY TO MAKE ME CRY DURING LEFT BEHIND" and he was like, "Aww, wait, what? Why me?" so I had to remind him of what he had done, and he was like, "Aw, well I'm glad somebody got it! Nobody ever tells me that". LOL HE IS SO SWEET I can't wait for Alexa to thumb war him, srs. And we got to talk to Pritch for the first time in foreverrrr and when she commented how I must be really cold and then she sort of walked away, she squeezed my arm? idk it was weird but whatever Pritch squeezed my arm, I hope she transferred her pwn onto me.

AND NOW HAHAHAHA THE IMPORTANT ONES:

BRIAN. AND. REMY. OMGGGG. okay so we were talking to Brian, and we were like, "sry we don't have a rap for you this time!" and he said, "Oh, lol it's okay, I couldn't ask for that everytime!" and he was so cute, and then Remy came over and was like "EW EW EW WHAT IS THAT" while looking at me, and then I realized that I was wearing the ironic Zac Efron necklace, and she was like, "Ugh, Zac Efron, he's a cheater, he's a cheater!" and I was like, "I know, he's a total tool" and she was like "NO HE'S A CHEATER, HE CHEATS ON VANESSA ANNE HUDGENS" and I was like ....um lol what do I say, luckily Brian saved me and was like, "YOU KNOW YOU LOVE HIM ANYWAY" and she punched him in the arm and was like "NO, NO, I HATE YOU!" and he tried to hug her and she was like, "No, Brian! Things will never be the same!" and they were laughing and teasing each other, and she hugged him and threw her arm around him and was like BREMY OH-SEVS, BREMY OH-SEVS! omg me and Ava were dyingggg. And Brian said, "no, no, Bremy 08, we're bringing it over into a new year!" and Remy was like, "No, shut up!" OMG IT WAS SO FUNNY. They are too cute.

AND. I TOTALLY EMBARRASSED MYSELF IN FRONT OF GLENN FLESHLER. LOL. He was the last person we talked to, and I was like, "I saw you going into stagedoor earlier, but I didn't want to be like ~*~*~*HEYYYY*~*~*~* so.. I didn't" and the girl standing next to us was laughing SO HARD at me omg it was so funny, I am so awkward. but w/e he was nice. NEW STAGEDOOR GOAL: BECOME GLENN FLESHLER'S BEST FRIEND. THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME I AM BRILLIANT

So... yeah. Eryn's Wendla was absolutely perfect, really. I can't find a single thing wrong with her performance. Her Wendla went through changes and shifts as the show went on - something did awaken within her, something started when she met Melchior. I honestly feel like I feel be disappointed if I go to see the show again and Lea is on as Wendla. Yeah, Lea is fierce, but Eryn really opened my eyes to a much more amazing Wendla, better acted and just... better, and I would step on the fucking pope if it went I could see her as Wendla again. I've seen Lea 12 times, and I feel like... she doesn't reinvent anything with her Wendla. And while idk if Eryn could give a performance like Lea does every day, if she has the stamina to do that, so I'm not sure how they compare in that area. But I definitely feel like the music of the show and the material in the show is much better suited to a less classical performer like Eryn, as opposed to a standard musical theatre girl, like Lea.

Also, seeing Blake Bashoff's first night was this explosion of OMG THIS IS SO AWESOME WTHHHH but with Eryn as Wendla, it was like... this realization that this FIT so much more, and it was like seeing something like it should have been all along, if that makes sense.

Eryn is definitely my new favorite Wendla; I feel so lucky to have seen her. :)

All in all, it was a fantastic day, I must say!

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 03:52:36 GMT

I just did a friends cut; mostly people who never update their journals anyway, or who I don't have much in common with/never talk to. I think you guys are all really sweet and I wouldn't have added you in the first place if I hadn't liked you, so it's all goooooodddddddd, ~*have fun livejournal adventures*~, I AM SURE YOU WILL.